So here it is folks. The long awaited lyrics for the songs we sing to Malia. I\’m going to need help with titles if I\’m going to release these on CD. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I\’ll have to find a way to get the songs on here so you can here them. You all will be our test-consumers.

Sung by daddy:

**Malia is standing up and holding daddy\’s hand for this little ditty. It\’s usually performed before daddy goes to work and after a successful diaper change.**
Dance Dadd Eee, Baby let\’s go dance.
Dance Dadd Eee, Baby let\’s go dance.
Momm Eee, I love to dance, dance with my Dadd Eee.
Momm Eee, I love to dance , dance with my Dadd Eee.
Dance Dadd Eee, Baby let\’s go dance.
Dance Dadd Eee, Baby let\’s go dance.

**Daddy is feeding Malia for this one. Pause when the spoon goes into Malia\’s mouth and open your mouth as wide as hers for the full effect.**
I like to eat my Ceee Ree Alll, Dadd Eee.
Yum yum yum.
It\’s time to eat the Ceee Ree Alll, Bay Bee.
Yum yum yum.
(Repeat 4,673 more times until food is finished)

Sung by mommy:

**This is the general song that I sing just when I see Malia or think about her.**
Who is my bubby, a bubby and a fat-fatch.
A bubby and a fat-fatch girllll.
And a bubby, a bubby, a bubby and a bubby.
Who is my bubby, a bubby and a fat-fatch.
A fat-fatch and a gung gung girllll.
And a bubby, a bubby, a bubby and a bubby.

**The world famous chuchu song. When it\’s time for Malia to nurse. I\’m still in negotiations with the New York Phil*harmonic to do the background music for this one.**
It\’s tiiiiime for da chuchu.
It\’s tiiiime for da chuchu.
Who wants da chuchu?
Malia wants to eat da chuchu.
I\’m hungry mama so it\’s time for da chuchu.
It\’s tiiime for da chuchu.
It\’s tiiime for da chuchu.

**This song is a duet featuring the mommy and the Nina.**
Cee Wee Awl and milk.
Cee Wee Awl and milk.
Malia loves to eat cee wee awl and milk.

Bonus track sung by grandma:

**Song is sung with a salsa background. Usually sung when holding and dancing with Malia. Dance steps are similar to those seen in Dir*ty Dancing.**
Tat tara tat tat tatata.
Tat tara tat tat ta rara rara rara rara rara.
Tat tara tat tat tatata.

Malia is getting close to her 20lb. mark and her feet are now dangling precariously over the edge of her infant car seat. And she can now contort her body into pretzel-like positions when she irritated and wants to get out of the thing. Does anyone have a good suggestion for one? Malia\’s ped suggested the Bri*tax and a lady from freecycle suggested the Cos*co Alpha Omega. Decisions… decisions.

I so wish now that I didn\’t get the car seat/stroller travel system. The stroller is not that bulky but bulky enough that I wish we got it separately. You know, a stroller that is lighter and one that you can snap the infant car seat into easily? I guess I just got overly excited about getting everything to match and making sure I got a neutral color if I am so blessed again with another child. If I\’m not, then *sigh*. I had no idea that they made light strollers that can hold an infant seat. I guess I was avoiding looking at anything baby for so long because well, you know.

Living on the third floor is what did it for me. It\’s hard to take the stroller, along with my purse, the diaper bag and Malia down to the first floor. I\’ve had the inkling once in awhile to ask the lady on the second floor apartment who goes out to smoke on her balcony every hour to help me but I\’m not sure her lungs can take the beating. Plus, when we go on outings with the gma, gpa and two sisters, the stroller can\’t fit in the back of the Tah*oe. Well, unless you take all the wheels off and then put it back on when you get to the desired destination. Which would be totally dumb.

I love this stroller though still. I fell in love with it the first moment I laid my eyes on it. And moving to the first level will make things better in January. But we still have the bulky as my butt-tocks dilemma. I don\’t want to part with it either. Silly huh? I\’m in the \”what if?\” mode.

I\’m rambling. Why? Because it\’s almost 1am. That\’s why.

*sigh*

I\’m not sure where the dadee caught it from but now the baybee has it too. Runny noses, sore throats and fevers. I pray and hope I don\’t catch it. It\’s midnight and Malia is still having a hard time sleeping cause her itty bitty nose is stuffed up. And it\’s hard for her to eat at all because she\’s having difficulties eating and breathing at the same time.

So the dadee will have to have some ramen soup, orange juice and hot tea and the baybee will have the chuchu, cereal, juice w/ vitamin C, bad-sickee medicine and teething tablets. Yeah, her tooth is out now. It\’s so cute. I\’ll try to take a pic of it in the morning if she\’s feeling up to it.

I have so much to say but my mind is kinda blank now. Aaaaaand I\’m not sleepy yet again. *sigh* So off to catch up on some blog reading.

Lesson #1

– I can be a slob.

My husband doesn\’t care if I clean or keep the house organized. Don\’t you think he should\’ve told me this 6 years ago? I remember running all over the house like a chicken with it\’s head cut off making sure the wash is done, the dishes are clean and put away, the floor and carpet are spotless, and that his clothes are neat and arranged carefully (sweaters here. long sleeve shirts here. short sleeve shirts here. oh, wait. now according to color). Oh, gotta make sure the pantry looks spiffy too. And I was pretty good about it too. Because, you know, I was trained by the master cleaner of the universe, my mom. I used to have a schedule when I was growing up. Everyday I\’d come home from school, there was a chore to be done. And it had to be done. And you know what? It felt like such a hassle to clean ever knick-knack-known-to-man but I felt good after it was done. And it felt good to know that my mom was proud of me. So now what? I have a man who comes home and doesn\’t even notice? Hrmphf. I\”m going on a cleaning strike. Well, for as long as the OCD in me says so.

Lesson #2

– You\’ll never forget the ones you lost.

I was talking to my friend D the other day on IM. She lost twin girls. She is a pillar of strength. An outstanding mother. She has 3 other children. Two are biological and one is adopted from Korea. I\’m in awe over what she has achieved as a wife, mother and friend. We got to talking about how hard it still is to lose a child. I still think about it. And now that it\’s Christmas time, I get stuck again. I remember holding him in my arms and talking to him like he was still alive. You don\’t know how really hard it is until you\’ve been there, you know? This year is supposed to be Johnathan\’s 2nd Christmas. His birthday was supposed to be 3 days ago. And yes I remembered. I don\’t visit him much anymore like I used to. I still look at his box and Christmas ornament everyday. I look at Malia and then I close my eyes and picture her standing next to her big brother. Holding hands. People say I should get over it. But it\’s tough. It makes it even worse when people tell me that I\’m losing precious time with Malia when I use the time to think of Johnathan or the children that could have been. I don\’t care if they think it\’s wrong. It\’s what I feel in my heart. I know that he won\’t get mad when I don\’t think about him for one day. I know that he won\’t get upset when I don\’t visit him weekly like I used to. But I still want to do those things. Forever.

Lesson #3

– I\’m a crymomma.

Malia awoke at 3am this morning and was fussy because of her toofer(s). Yes, I think there are two coming out at the same time. I need to take Spring\’s advice and get those teething tablets. So we were up this morning. I held her in my arms as I attempted to not let Diyosa down and transfer all the pictures into the gallery all by myself. I tear up all the time when Malia is crying and when I know it\’s because she\’s in pain. Believe me, I know pain. And it hurts me to know that she hurting. I know. I know. Don\’t lecture me. All children will go through this and will have some type of pain in their lives. But I don\’t care. It\’s my baby and I\’ll cry if I want to.

Shtill not sleepy yet. I\’m shtill having trouble sleeping. Vewy vewy annoying. And I don wanna take sleeping pills. What to do what to do. Any suggestions?

So here\’s some lots of wittle thoughts to pass the time until I get drowsy.

I forgot to thank Diyosa and Susie for getting my blog to look normal again. Thanks you so much. Sorry so late on the appreciation ladies. You can hate me now.

Mass was gorgeous today. Jerry and I read the readings. Malia started talking once I spoke into the mic. Uh-oh. And she kept talking while Father was doing the homily. I think she was just doing the, \”Yes, I totally understand, Father\” face the whole time too.

It\’s rainy and muggy today. Brr.. Yucky. And by the way, don\’t ever go down three flights of stairs with a 16lb. bubby, a diaper bag, purse and paper cutter. Not very safe. It\’s a good thing I didn\’t wear my sexsay boots or else I would\’ve been a goner.

It was yucky yesterday too when I went with my mom and sister to go shopping for mom\’s Christmas partay outfit. Dad wants mom to wear red. I\’m not sure why. Maybe they want to recreate that Gene Wilder/Kelly Lebrock scene. Does anyone know what I\’m talking about? Nevermind. I loved that movie. Anyhoot, we stopped by Se*ars because they have \”Good Deals!\” ala my sister. So my mom got a red sweater there. A cute one. And I just came back from using the restroom when they were getting their bags from the lady. And the lady goes to us. \”Moochaaas Grass-shaaaas. Feliiis Navidodd. Oh. And Feliss Anyon Nweayboo. I totally love that spanish language.\” And we were like, \”Eh? Thanks.\”

I totally feel it\’s so unfair to show concern for people and get pounced on because of it. There. I said it.

Malia makes me cry. And sad. I don\’t like to see her in pain. I tear up when her mouth hurts. I wish there was more I could do. I\’m trying almost everything. Yeah, I\’d take advice please. We\’ve done the teething toys. In the freezer too. And the binky. And the gel for her gums. She likes the puffs doh. Thank God for the puffs. She still has the chuchu. And still likes the chuchu.

I went to St*aples today with my sister and Malia to get envelopes for the Christmas cards. Anyhoot, Malia was in her carseat and so I clicked her into the cart. When we were done, I decided to walk along the open air mall-like structure thingamajiggy (shut up and stop laughing, I\’m sleep deprived) to Hagg*en\’s to get Jerry some yogurt because he wants to cook up some Indian food this week. So the St*aples cart is red. And the Hagg*en\’s cart is green. I was stuck with a dilemma. Do I transfer Malia to the green cart so I don\’t look dumb? Granted they always look at me dumb anyways and try to be all spanish on me when I\’m in there. So I left her in the red cart. And I got dirty looks. Even the cashier was like, \”Hmm.. should I even accept this woman\’s money? Her daughter is in the red St*aples cart.\”

Okay. Gonna try to shleep now. Night.

Jerry likes to say that when he sees his dong-dong sleeping.

So I made this for him.

She\’s been so tired this morning. I think it may be the teething. Poor baby girl.

*bad momma.*
i\’m supposed to be working.
i still need to cut out the Christmas cards I made.
and put them in envelopes.
and make the labels.
and send them out.
and wrap the secret santa present.
and send that out too.
and get envelopes for the Christmas cards because i don\’t think i\’ll have time to write in each and every card. dude, that\’s like 60 of them. plus i\’m already sending them the one i made so that should be good right? right? why have 2 cards when i\’m giving one. right?
and return the size 3 disposable dipes because malia\’s legs are too fat for them. time to switch to size 4.
and make cute little designs for my friend\’s new twin nephews.
and i need to update the parish website too.
and wrap the presents for the parish giving tree.
and practice reading for the Immaculate Conception mass tonight.
what am i still doing here?
*bad momma.*

Malia\’s been fussy lately and has been silly when it comes to spoon feedings. She opens up wide when she knows that she\’s getting some fruit puffs or for the chuchu. But when it\’s time for anything on the spoon, she\’s just not having it. So I felt her gums on the bottom of her mouth and there\’s a toofer coming out! OMG. Yes, I teared up again. *sniff*

Now, I\’m wondering what else to do to make her eat her food from the spoon. Daddy\’s not always here to play airplane with the spoon. I tried playing airplane but I think she knows that I\’m the chuchu. Why in the world would the holder of the chuchu be feeding me with a spoon? I\’ve tried warming it and tried feeding it to her cold. Suggestions anyone? And yes you can give me suggestions and advice. I\’m not silly like that.

Lots of things are happening and changing at the moment.

Malia’s disposition is changing. My outgoing baby is now shy. She used to smile and laugh at everyone. She’s now hesitant when she meets strangers. She’s even scared of her own reflection now. I brought her to the mirror last night right before her bath and she just wasn’t having any of it. Silly girl.

Malia’s eating fruit puffs made by Gerber. She’s loving it. And she’s now eating 2 meals a day. Oatmeal with bananas for breakfast and rice cereal with a vegetable or fruit at night. She’ll try a meat this weekend. I hope her grandpa is happy. He’s been trying to stick a turkey bone in ther mouth for weeks now. She still has the chuchu, which I’m so happy about. But she needs to learn not to bite and pull. Please, Malia, please.

We’re exclusively cloth diapering at home now. And I’m loving it. With special thanks to friends who have offered me invaluable advice and resources to help me tackle this. Thank God for freecycle and great friends. I’ll take a pic of the stash that Malia has. If Malia ends up to be my only child, I’m so thankful that I can do everything I’ve wanted to do naturally. Granted, I don’t make my own babyfood. But remember, I’m not perfect. More on that later.

We’re moving to a first floor apartment on the 3rd of January. So those of you that have my address, it will change a bit. The move will be great. We go to the gma and gpa’s house every weekend and the trips up and down the three flights do wonders for our stamina but the flights are not so great when it’s just me and Malia and tons of stuff. Plus we’ll be saving 100 bucks a month. That’s a lot of iceberg lettuce, baybee!! I’ll take the pitcha’s and post them then. When we’re all settled in.

I won’t be frequenting forums that much anymore. It’s a really long story. Maybe if I have time and need to vent, I’ll explain what happened. But there are several things I’ve realized the last 2 days. That people like to judge without looking at all sides of a story. That even though something bad has happened, something good and fruitful has come from it. You can’t go through life like everything will always be hunky-dory. You know that I know that that’s for sure. That people like to judge and talk down to you if you’re really used to it. It’s especially hurtful when it’s people you trust. I’m going to have to be very careful with what I tell people nowadays. It can be used against me. Frightening eh? It annoys me to no end when people think they can talk down to me because I’m used to it. Make me feel guilty and feel like I’m a horrible mother, wife, friend and person. They already know I have a complex with it comes to that. So they use that against me? Talk to me like a little child? What kind of friend is that? That some people who ask for advice or suggestions don’t really want you to help. They just want drama, that’s all. How weird is that? That people who try to help are bad people. Yes, isn’t that crazy. Giving advice and suggestions, on a forum, it’s bad. Because there’s always an excuse for everything. That some people online are perfect. They NEVER talk about people behind their back. That they’re ALWAYS nice and proper. So they expect me to be as well. Granted, I know I’m not perfect. Heck, I’m an infertile. We belong in a class all our own. So thank you for making me feel like shit, you know who you are people. Why in the world did I lose sleep and and precious time with my family and friends pondering this? Thankfully, I still have friends after all this. I guess people do like me after all. Should I still worry about what else will happen next? Whoa. I guess I don’t think I have to tackle talking about this again. I went crazy talking about it eh? Maybe I’ll have more to say later. Maybe.

Ho hum. I have a lot to do anyways. I have Christmas cards and gifts to send to family and great friends. I have to get my gifts sorted and wrapped for the charities. I need to send my secret Santa gift. I think she asked for coal. I’m not sure if she wants Kingston or Matchlight, though. I need to get ready to pack up for the move and for the trip to Guam on the 11th of January. Tons of files need to be uploaded or copied and pasted onto this new blog and the photo gallery. I need to sew some soakers and covers for Malia. I need to freecycle and ebay things we don’t have the space for or need anymore. I need to finish I need to fix my prayer and novena schedule so I pray more regularly. Yes, imperfect, bad people pray too. I still have email, messaging, my blogroll so I’m still absolutely going to keep in touch with all my family and friends. I think the dipe needs a changing so I better go.

~THE SUPPOSED TO BE POST FOR WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2004~

Already! 1/2 a year has gone by already? I’m yet .

Malia Janelle. We adore you baby girl. You have brought us so much joy and laughter. I can’t imagine a world without your twinkling dark brown eyes.

Here are your 6 month milestones and other neat stuffs:

– you weigh 16lbs. 2oz.; your length is 26″, your head circumference is 16″
All 50% percentile! Wow. You are growing so fast sweetheart! I was a bit worried you’d be small again. But you’re just perfect to us. In every way. Mommy is still trying to get over the fact that all babies are different and grow at different rates.

– you received 3 more shots today. Daddy held you while I stayed in the waiting room. It’s still hurts me to hear you cry in pain. Hopefully I’ll get braver with that. You cried for only about 2 minutes. Braveheart.

– you put EVERY object you can reach and hold in your little fat fingers into your mouth. Those items include, your links, rattles, floaty toys for the bath, wittle spoons, mommy and daddy’s fingers and shoulders (like a little remora).

– you eat 2 meals a day. Usually rice cereal or oatmeal with a vegetable or fruit. You’ve tried pears, peaches, bananas, applesauce and had sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving. On to squash and other vegetables next. Dr. j-Low said you can start having meats next month and cheerios too. You even like your sippy cup. You think every cup that we hold is your sippy cup. LOL

– you still breastfeed, which mommy still loves dearly. But now you love to touch and stare at mommy’s face more and coo. Although you pain mommy when you think you can turn your head so quickly with the nip still in your mouth. Yeeouch.

– you like your exersaucer but still am a bit silly when you’re in it. You always want people next to you. You scream bloody murder when we walk about .5 feet away.

– you love the spare keyboard that daddy has for you. You happily type and click on it while in your booster when mommy’s working right next to you.

– you can sit up by yourself. Yes, that made mommy cry. WAHHH!! Sorry. I’m okay now. You’re so cute. Mommy will have to find a pic with you doing that. You still tip over because your so schmart and your brain has lots of content. So you’re vewy top heavy.

– mommy is giving you less full baths and hair washings just until your bit of cradle cap goes away. So we just get to rub down your fat body with a warm washcloth. Poor us.

– you’re doing so well with mommy’s attempt to cloth diaper you. You’re a trooper I say. You lay there and just watch mommy put the dipey on. It’s hard sometimes because you have so much butter and it’s hard to get the diaper over that. But mommy’s is dealing with it. Maybe mommy can chomp on it a bit and then there’ll be more room. Have I said how cute the diaper looks on you? Especially when we put an extra one for nighttime? You have a package between your legs. Hehe.

– you roll over a lot. Like a log in water during a lumberjack competition. It’s hard to leave you alone now. Well, it’s always been hard to leave you alone because we always just wanna eat you up!!

– you skooch on your belly and crawl. You look like Heimlich from A Bug’s Life. “Like a little butt-tterfly!” Once time mommy put you on the floor near the couch and went to make a quick pit stop. When she came back you were near the pack-n-play sucking on the wheel. Bad mommy.

– you like to watch mommy and daddy cook. You love to watch mommy cut daddy’s hair with the clippers. The humming noise fascinates you. You love to sit in you bouncy while mommy showers. You love the sound of the fan and running water and love it when mommy plays peek-a-boo with you with the shower curtain.

– you still sleep through the night. With 1 to 2 feedings. Have we mentioned how much we love you?

– you take naps during the day but it’s sporadically. Sometimes 2 – 1 hour long ones. Sometimes 3 to 4 10 minute ones.

– you can stand up by yourself if we prop you up against something. Like the chainsaw. Just kidding. Sheesh.

– you got your wittle ears pierced on November 26. You were so brave and wonderful. Yes, daddy had to hold you because mommy’s a big human sized fried chicken but she came to your rescue afterwards. You cried for a few minutes but don’t even notice that the earrings are there.

– you get shy around people now. Especially strangers. You’re just like your mommy. Very shy.

– you get fussy when you’re tired, especially at night. So daddy has to rock you in his arms to sleep.

– mommy cried again when she had to put another bag of outgrown clothes away. You grow so quickly my little cha cha.

– you love it when grandma Lujan says, “It’s a sad sad day.” And also when grandpa Lujan lets you go Full Monty. No accidents yet.

– you like listening to grandma Fernandez’s voice on the cell phone while it’s on speaker. You can hear her say, “Malia. Who’s grandma’s preencess? I love you Malia. I love my preencess.”

– you won’t imagine how many times mommy and daddy spend time quietly looking at your face and wonder why on earth we got so lucky.

Happy half year to our sweet darling precious.